List formalny-j.angielski

[hihra]

Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to You in connection with program TV Star. I would like to apply for this program. I am sixteeen years old. I have lived in Cracow in Poland.
At the moment I graduating high school. My favourite subject is chemistry and biology. I am the best of this subject. I get to another stage chemisry competetion.
In free time I dancing hip-hop and funky. I won hip-hop dance tournament. My talented is twist hula-hop. I interesting traditions polish.
I want to work in television, because I confident and outgoing person. I like to perform from the public. I like to meet new people.I to be able to attract antention. I am sure I will be great presenter.
Yours faithfully
XYZ

 

[Sica_]

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to You in connection with program TV Star. I would like to apply for parti:cenzura:tion in this program (programme to BrEng, program to AmEng). I am sixteeen years old. I am living in Cracow in Poland.
At the moment I am graduating from high school (chodzi ze konczysz szkole?? troszke bez sensu w tym momencie ukańczam szkołe ). My favourite subject is chemistry and biology. I am the best in? this subject (chyba that subjects bo o 2 pisalas). I got to another(ja bym dala second) stage of chemistry competition.
During my free time I dance hip-hop and funky. I won hip-hop dance tournament. My talent is twisting hula-hop(?). I am interested in polish traditions.
I want to work in television, because I am a confident and outgoing(moze lepiej sociable, talkative) person. I like to perform in? the public. I like meeting new people.I am able to attract antention( attention a tak pozatym to dziwnie zbudowane zdanie). I am sure I will be a great presenter.
Yours faithfully
XYZ


Hmm generalnie kiepsko pod wzgledem jezykowym , wiecej pracy ze slownikiem ii malo lacznikow typu moreover furthermore therefore itd ktore powinny byc w liscie formalnym mysle ze bledow nie ma ale wiecej jak 3 to z tego nie bedzie bo poziom nie zachwyca pozdrawiam

edit: tam gdzie cenzura sie wlaczyla ma byc parti c ipation (pisane razem)

 

[hihra]

O dzięki wielkie :*
Tych łączników nie ma, bo nam nie wprowadzali
Pierwszy raz mamy do czynienia z listem formalnym, więc babka nie powinna być zbyt ostra
I jeszcze pytanie w którym miejscu listu formalnego dajemy datę?

 

[Sica_]

szczerze mowiac nie mam zielonego pojecia co do daty bo nikt na to nie patrzy za bardzo .. w ksiazce napewno masz przykladowy z data ..